Day to Day

You may at this point think we could possibly have moved into another dimension of pink ponies, rainbows, and marshmallow clouds. Well, I will reveal the truth, a nomad summer does not imply a no(one gets)mad summer. We have had our share of heated discussions, time outs, and wondering what we are doing. Working back into the routine of day to day life this week, while living in a campground 40 miles from the job, has proven to be one of these difficult areas. Trying to reconcile the world of a camping trip, i.e. junk food and lazy days in the sun, with the working world my husband enters each day has led us to some honest discussions about expectations. Expectations are little unspoken thoughts that no one will say, but will always hold over another’s head. We live hoping that person will live up to them, find disappointment when they don’t, and begrudge them for not reading our mind. Communication is the kind cousin of expectation, for if a couple can communicate well, then those expectations will rarely roar their little heads. A couple who has challenges communicating, I will admit that is often us, will also frequently battle the dark cloud of unmet expectations. We are lucky in that while we don’t always live understanding this, we do see it and know it about ourselves.

So I find myself here at a campground all day with two little kids. Keeping us busy is the most important thing about the day. If we aren’t busy, then the little guy gets antsy and pretty soon the whole campground is listening to either him getting upset, or me trying to discipline. It’s like living life in a glass house. Typically, while camping we would let more slide, we’d put off dealing with certain behaviors until we were in the privacy of our own home. Having been away from home for 5 weeks already and looking into another 3 weeks out of a home, we can’t live that way, it would set us up for a downfall come September. So, it feels a little like airing your dirty laundry out in front of the world. We are not perfect parents, or a perfect couple in the sense that all is always peaceful and gentle and kind. We get angry, we have unmet expectations and we have no where to go with those except the picnic table where the rest of the campground can hear us discuss life if they so choose. It’s a little embarrassing since no one else is actively living this way, but it does make me wonder what communities used to be like before everyone had thick walls and lawns between their homes. I’m sure people argued, most likely more openly that we do now, and I’m sure there was a lot that was different than now. Familial roles were more defined and distractions like leisure time and computers didn’t exist. But I wonder what it was like to live in tents, in family compounds where everyone knew all about the relationships between everyone else, not because they were talked about later, but because they were lived out in front of each other. We try so hard to hide our flaws, our personality, physical, and family flaws and I think that this only puts more distance between others and ourselves. It breeds fear and loneliness, it raises expectations and limits communications. It makes one another unapproachable. Obviously we have to maintain some sense of social decorum or it might get a little nutso with everyone airing their feelings left and right, but I’m open to a little more crazy in this planet and a little less stiff upper lip. Let’s get to know each other, good and bad, let’s live real life next to each other, honestly and full of hope. This is where we learn grace, mercy, forgiveness, self control, and love. We cannot learn those things sheltered from imperfection or from expecting perfection. Learning them takes practice and practice takes complete commitment to imperfect people.