Against the Tide

As we move in and are now settled into a routine with our son back in preschool and life calming down a bit, I have started to notice things about this city that I have never noticed before. Last weekend my husband took the kids for the day so I could have some time to think adult thoughts that wouldn't be interrupted every 15 seconds by someone else's needs and so I headed down to one of my favorite neighborhoods of Seattle, at least it was 4 years ago before kids happened.

When we moved here Ballard was an up and coming neighborhood, boasting proximity to downtown and not overly developed it maintained a piece of what I call Old School Seattle. I was surprised then to find this area overrun with condos, hip young professionals, and a grumpy attitude. And the more I look around as I drive, shop, and encounter people in this city I find myself surrounded by so much standoffishness that it leads one close to the edge of pure loneliness. Cities that are so dense with people have a strange way of causing more walls to go up. It must be some sort of self-preservation instinct, but when you realize that this attitude has reached your doorstep and you can't shake off the grump at home, it's time to start a smile revolution. Yes, I'm talking about smiling in public, at strangers, for no apparent reason except to be cheerful. So if you see me walking down the sidewalk in the gloomy rain of the coming winter with a smile plastered on my face, no I have not gone crazy, I am simply choosing joy.

For me, joy and contentment are linked, they are sisters that we so often see running away from us as we are blindsided by despair or fear. But when we are walking with them they hold each other up and they hold us up to face the realities of life. One of my realities right now is that we live in a climate that truly affects my mood and for too long I have grumbled through winter holed up at home feeling lethargic, but this winter I am going to explore, get out, probably get rained on, and have silly fun with my kids. I am going to smile when I feel like Oscar the Grouch has taken over my body. We are surrounded by talk of living authentic lives, being always true outwardly to our inward selves and while I think that it is important to allow ourselves to feel negative feelings and express them I am a bit concerned about a culture that that lives so deeply entrenched in negativity and fear that the cold shoulder is expected while the warm invite is rare. I don't believe in a false 'fake it till you make it' joy, what I am aiming for is a pure understanding that life is a gift. If we believe this, if we believe that life is more than jobs and stuff and reaching the pinnacle of all humanity has to offer then contentment is our friend and joy comes along for the ride.

I'm pretty sure I know all 6 of you who read this blog (;) and so I'm pretty sure I know that you are much more versed at living in the arms of joy than I am, so I am very curious what your thoughts are on the subject.