I am a mom. The
statement renders either connection or distance. Despite that it is a part of who I am, a part of how I
experience womanhood. I question
it. I question myself within it,
as a mother- am I doing my children right? I question how to bring it up with people. I am proud of my children, but wonder
if I talk to little or too much, when will the eyes of others glaze over
thinking about a more exciting thing than just this mom talking about her kids. Just your mom talking proudly about
you. My life flew out the door
replaced by nights of tending to another human being. Days of purpose replaced by tending to another human being. Those persons will grow up, and someday
bless me or curse me, that I can only control so much. I am a mom. Giving, loving, hoping, empty, starving, searching.
I wrote this to explore womanhood meeting motherhood meeting the
world. I have wanted to express a
somewhat darker side of motherhood.
Granted there are intricate, fragile, beautiful moments raising
children, but despite that there is a deeper side always wondering how to
juggle the roles of woman, mother, friend, lover, and I truly believe it is a
disservice to women and mothers to not acknowledge the joys along with the
struggles. It is a conversation of self worth in the light of daily
life, and looking into the future.
I AM A MOM
I am a mom.
Distance
Connection
Glazed over eyes
I see you fading away
Questions
Questions
Questions
Will I fail
Or
I will fail
Never enough
And always too much
I am a mom.
Strength meets weakness
Hope dances with struggle
Sleepless nights
Bring on the
Unending days
Of
Questions
Questions
Questions
How do I give enough
Or
Do I have enough to give
I am a mom.
I am proud,
Do I talk too much
Or too little?
Blessings and curses
May come my way
But I cannot undo who I am
What I am
What I have become
Giving
Loving
Hoping
Searching
Starving
Wanting
To connect
With someone
Someone
Over the age of 5.
I am a mom.
Call me
Text me
Take me out
I cannot take another day
Of
Questions
Questions
Questions
Push me forward
Let me be
Who I was
And
Who I am
That I cannot be
I am someone
Someone
New
I am a mom.
