Just catching up...

It has been quite some time since I have sat down to write here, so I will offer a brief synopsis of our lives.  After a busy summer full of trips to the beach, afternoons at the park, and watching my two children learn to be friends with each other, we have moved into fall.
Fall is my favorite time of year.  It speaks of crunchy leaves filling up lawns with their bright colors, warm apple cider, farmers' markets full of summer produce, cozy sweaters, and tall boots.  This fall has seen my oldest child off to kindergarten.  He was built for school.  A social butterfly at heart he has already made more friends with the other kids' moms than I have.  Watching him go the first day, to this new adventure, to a place full of complete strangers, he walked with such anticipation, readiness to take on what was to come.  A theme throughout my writing has always been a piece of what I find myself learning from my children.  And on this fall day, I glimpsed in him a courage that I knew I wanted to have also.  A born wallflower, social gatherings have never been my forte.  Always a bit intimidated by strangers, never sure what to say, and typically wishing I could just melt away, one of the greatest gifts my son has given me is more trust in other people.  Trust to be courageous, to hope that they too may be looking for a new friend.
Through this burgeoning independence of my six year old, I thought I was holding it together, being a strong mom.  Until one day he wanted to walk down the sidewalk by himself.  No holding my hand, no mom on the playground, just him, all alone.  And as I watched him walk off into the world, my mind couldn't help but foreshadow the future, the beginning of the end of certain strings that have tied him to me during his toddlerhood.  As moms, when the 3 year olds are pushing all of our buttons and we can't get a minute to ourselves, we often hope for this day.  The day the house will be quiet and we will have 'time to ourselves', when we won't be needed 24/7, the day we can begin to pursue our own endeavors.  So now, while I have moved one child into that world, my house is quieter and I finally do have time to entrench myself in the quadratic equations and negative exponents of my math pre-requisite as I begin to pursue a new degree.  Many days it is nice, but those moments when he reaches a new level of entering into his own world I mourn the times of cuddling him as a baby.  And while I know as a mother that bond will always remain, I also know that growing up is necessary, for both of us.  So while this fall has brought many cups of warm apple cider and crunchy leaves, it has brought something new, a new piece of fall that will always stay with us; the changes that a new school year bring as those little babies I once held and rocked to sleep begin to step out and test themselves against the world.  Growing, learning, and straining to find their place, just as each one of us has done in the past.  What an amazing journey to begin with them.
So moms out there, you hear it too often and ignore it too often.  So at the risk of sounding like a clanging bell or a bad advice column, I cannot press this enough.  Time will pass quickly.  Those babies will grow up, the issues will change, and soon your life will look very different.  So believe it, from a mom who is watching it happen and taking it to heart, those babies will only be babies for a very short time.  Those difficult two year olds will not be the same in a year.  Rejoice in the moment you have.  Live it, live every second of it and invest in those babies so that when they walk off to kindergarten, when they want to go all by themselves you can live in the bittersweet moment of time well spent, knowing that that child will come running for a hug when the day is over.  Those moments cannot be relived, but the closeness of family can continue on through all the changes.  This is your time to make that a priority.
Well this turned into a bit of writing I didn't know was in me, I guess my heart is trying to tell me something too.  So I'm off to pick up that six year old from school, get a big hug, and hear all about what adventures he has today.